LIVING WITH HEART

Inquiring Hearts

Candace A. Croft, Ph.D.
© 2008 Candace A. Croft

The woman threaded her way along the village streets peering inside shop windows where merchants placed their best wares on display to entice passersby inside.  In one window, the woman saw a sign:

HELP WANTED

INQUIRE WITHIN

Without hesitation, the woman entered the shop and addressed the gentleman at the counter.  “I noticed your sign in the window.  How might I be of assistance?”

The man responded by listing the duties that came with the clerk’s job.  Realizing her help was not needed, the woman graciously excused herself and continued down the street.  She had only traveled a few feet when she noticed a sign posted in another store:

HELP WANTED

INQUIRE WITHIN

Again, the woman entered the store and addressed the person in charge.  “I noticed your sign in the window.  How might I be of assistance?”

As before, the manager responded with a litany of job duties.  Realizing her help was not needed, she thanked the manager and proceeded on her way.

Farther down the road, she saw a church marquee announcing:

SEEKING SALVATION

INQUIRE WITHIN

She entered the sanctuary and approached the reverend.   “I noticed your sign.  How might I be assistance?”

She enjoyed a long conversation and cup of tea with the cleric but, in the end, understood her help was not needed.  And so it went for many days.  The woman saw signs for assistance and, although many advertised, few seemed willing to accept what help she had to offer.  She smiled and continued on her way. 

Inquire within.  Socrates advised that the unexamined life was not worth living.  Each of us walks around daily with an invisible sign posted upon us

HELP WANTED

INQUIRE WITHIN

as universal instruction to know Self.  Only through Self-examination does life’s path assume meaning.  Still, we often falter by accepting a life of someone else’s examination.  If we spent as little time examining the fit of our clothes that we do examining the fit of our lives, we would undoubtedly be the most slovenly race in the universe.

The examined life begins by asking questions that lead to meaningful answers.  Luckily, few questions require as profound consideration as Shakespeare’s query to be or not to be, but our days are littered with many common questions.   Buy or rent?  Coupe or sedan?  Briefcase of backpack?  Heels or cross trainers?  Glass or plastic?  Briefs, bikini, or anything at all?  Book, movie, or television show?  Comedy, romance, or horror?  Rural or metropolitan?  Doctor, artisan, factory worker, or clerk?  Conservative or liberal?  Republican, Democrat, or Independent?  Pro or con?  Soup or salad?  Baked or mashed?  Most of those questions probably elude awareness and, thus, examination, but all result in choices that collectively write a personal life credo of self-definition.  

Religious or spiritual?  A friend of mine inadvertently started this mental avalanche about self-examination when she raised that question.  She attends a “Unitarian, universalist temple” because she does not subscribe to any formal religion.  As a result, she defines herself as “spiritual, not religious.”  I understand the distinction, but wondered if her categorization was anything more than rejection of the mainstream.  If that’s all it was, her definition of self seemed founded upon adolescent rebellion, despite her advanced chronological age.  If that’s all it was, what meaning did her life assume?  Because I wished her happiness, I hoped her examination held a deeper level.

How often do we accept beliefs created by another as our own simply because we went along with our parents or friends?  That type of blind obedience begs paraphrasing Grandmom’s famous question:   If Susie or Billy jumped off the dogmatic bridge, would you jump, too?  How many of us who identify with a religion have examined the fit or alignment of those beliefs with our Selves?  Do we give life to those beliefs through our words and actions on a daily basis?  Or, do we conveniently pick and choose those parts of the doctrine we prefer to accept and call it good enough?  If we follow the ala carte approach and accept some or most, but not all of the beliefs, why do we accept or reject those we do?  I know what my friend rejects, adamantly and vociferously.  But, what does she believe?  She has yet to be able to clearly articulate her beliefs and non-beliefs.  Not that she has to prove anything to me.  Whether I agree or disagree with her choices is irrelevant.  

Another’s credo or set of fundamental beliefs is meant to be the start of self-examination, not the end.  It is a point of comparison that encourages clarification.  How do I align with these beliefs?  Where do I diverge?  What do various beliefs mean and not mean to me?  To my daily way?  To the greater community?  Knowing what beliefs we reject and why is as important in defining self as knowing those we accept and why.  I firmly believe that being able to articulate those distinctions will be an essay question on the final test.  That alone inspires me want to perfect my answer. 

Being specific leads to better fit between Self and life.    For example, what does it mean to be a “Unitarian universalist?”  I asked with all sincerity because it seemed redundant to me.  She answered with silence.  My friend attended a temple which Webster indicates as “a place devoted for special purpose.”  Which purpose, I wondered?  I, too, am always looking for a great fit and wanted to assess how well her beliefs aligned with my Self.  My question was greeted with confusion.

She stated the group accepted all personal definitions of God/Higher Power/Allah/Yahweh/Goddess.  In an interrelated, communal universe can any personal definition have meaning devoid of its effect on the All?  She stated that God, Goddess, Jehovah, Allah, or the Higher Power was personal but the entity was unknowable.  The answer, apparently satisfying to her, raised more questions in me.  If one could not define God/Higher Power, how could one define divine Self?  If one could not define divine Self, how could one define God/Higher Power?  The unfolding spiral of self-discovery left me dizzy.

Heady though it may be, self-examination is necessary.  Life is a mystery to be revealed through discovery.  The Indian sage, Ramana Maharshi, instructed his students to ask the greatest of all questions, “Who am I?”  By examining all of the daily choices, each individual writes a personal credo that a) serves as a guide through life, b) defines Self, c) clarifies purpose, d) grounds one’s way, and e) achieves a healthy fit with one’s divine nature that ultimately stocks life with meaning.

This month, do not simply buy the wares another is selling.  Take personal responsibility for self-examination and begin writing your personal credo in earnest.  When you have finished, choose associations that align with it rather than defining your life by another’s credo.

Help wanted.  Inquire within and—          

KEEP YOUR HEARTLIGHT SHINING