LIVING WITH HEART

Heart of a Fool

Candace A. Croft, Ph.D.
© 2008 Candace A. Croft

She was not the Elizabeth Taylor of her generation, but she had had her share of relationships across the years.  A hopeless romantic, her heart had been charmed, romanced, and seduced.  It had also been bruised, battered, and broken.  Still, she believed.  Having called off a wedding (or two), she had eight place settings of exquisite bone china for all the formal entertaining she did (which, with all fingers amputated, she would still be able to count on one hand), an expensive, designer Halloween costume (complete with seed pearl train), and an insurmountable debt on the credit cards to which she had given him access—foolishly, they said with the accuracy of hindsight.  In case the bit of trivia was ever required, she knew that the gold ink used to print wedding invitations shot off sparklers when burned in the fireplace.  Yes, her relationships had taught her a lot.

When she met the man of her dreams and offered her heart on her sleeve (or was it a platter?), they exclaimed as a chorus, “You naïve fool!”  When she declared her continued belief in the destiny of soulmates and true love, they joined together in sarcastic voice to sing:  “Why do fools fa-all i-in love…”  In reply, she smiled and followed her heart, only to have it shattered again.  When she asked, “How could this happen?” they told her it was time to grow up and forget the fantasy. 

She dug down deep inside, some place she could not see, some place she could only feel and pulled forth a piece of her heart, broken and assumed lost.  In that moment, she believed again.

Fools indeed.

When cruelty and violence shatter the idealist’s world, she raises foolish questions in an attempt to regain meaning in her life.  Regardless of how the violence is expressed, the questions and responses are typical.  I heard them repeated in the aftermath of the Valentine’s Day massacre on the Northern Illinois University campus.  Hearts shattered, healing had already begun when idealists questioned the gap between what should be and what was as they sought to give meaning to a senseless act and return their world to its idyllic state.  “How could this happen?”  “I thought we were safe.”  “It’s a small place where people know each other, a place far away from the world’s dangers.”  “Is it too much to ask to live in peace?”  Digging down deep inside, they reached a place that had the power to destroy or heal at will.

The skeptics predictably responded.  “Fools, grow up.”

Truth be told, a person can grow up and still be a fool.  The archetypal fool is a soul on a journey which explains the bag he carries on a stick over his shoulder.  Most people know he is costumed as a court jester, but to equate him with the village idiot is like stating that witches are evil hags with pointed noses, warts, and scraggly hair.  Samantha Stevens, for one, would undoubtedly object. 

Zero is the numerical designation for the fool, not because he lacks value or should have an “L” tattooed on his forehead for “Loser.”  Quite the opposite.  Zero represents nothing and everything simultaneously.  In other words, zero is that place holder of infinite potential  where all things remain possible, but have not yet manifest in reality.  Its latent nature is why the zero is not included in the ancient art of numerology—it has not expressed any characteristics to be interpreted.  As a zero, the fool is both the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega, the bridge between what can be and what is.

For those of you who find the expression “naïve fool” to be redundant, let me assure you, it is not.  The wise fool is not a buffoon who is himself the entertainment, but one who has the maturity to use wit, irony, and folly to lighten any situation.  Balancing hope from idealism with sensibility, the mature fool maintains heart, but does not wear it on a sleeve.  He knows better than to indiscriminately offer it to any fool who comes along.  He acknowledges a world of paradox where cruelty and love exist as neighbors in every corner of the world.  So, he discerns who will cherish his heart and wisely chooses to open it only to those who have shown themselves trustworthy.  The mature fool knows that, when violence erupts, staying grounded in heart is the salvation that keeps idealism alive and makes living on earth tolerable.  He reaches into his bag of tricks and, although unable to see what is there, feels his way around until he finds what is needed to keep violence and cruelty from killing heart. 

Of course, like any dramatic personality, the fool has a shadow side.  Untrained and unprepared for the journey, the immature fool reaches into his bag and, not knowing what to feel, withdraws a performance without heart.   Minus wise judgment, he wears his heart on his sleeve and walks straight into the lion’s den.  When his heart is consumed, he feels betrayed by his beliefs.  Beware the village idiot.

Cruelty and violence are always senseless acts.  Their only purpose is to destroy heart by shattering a person’s sense of love and trust.  Evil tries to kill our faith that goodness and right will prevail.  The universal question is this:  How does one maintain foolish idealism in a cold, heartless world where idealism is considered foolish?  The answer as I see it is to smile, laugh, and persist with idealistic hopefulness in the face of violence, even when our hearts are breaking.  The wise fool laughs, not at the violence, but to shine light upon it.  Mature, the fool uses wit and irony to crack the hard crust that forms around our hearts in response to rejection and loss.  When terror stalks the heart, a true fool entertains with distraction to prevent anger, grief, depression, or fear from dimming a soul’s light.

Fools unite.  This year on April Fool’s Day, make a stand against violence and cruelty in the world by mindfully acting as a wise fool.  Smile in the face of cruelty to indicate whole-hearted opposition to it.  Do this, not because you are a buffoon, but because you are willing to entertain all sides of life—the light and the shadows—with wit and satire.  For one day, we can get it right.

Decrease the hold of violence on your life by filling the zero’s void with something positive.  Speak and act light heartedly.  When you do, cruel actions cannot touch your heart, let alone wound it.   For one day, on April Fool’s, we can get it right.

Reach into your bag of tricks, dig down deep into your soul, and feel your way until you withdraw what is needed to add value to your life, whether that is grabbing onto a ray of hope, establishing a healthy goal, communing with nature to enter into a holy state, or simply enjoying a good laugh, movie, or company of friends.  For one day, on April Fool’s, we can get it right and reclaim our hold on Paradise.

If we can get it right for one day, we can get it right the other 364 as well.  The answer is clear:  We humans are fools and we have been foolishly empowered to heal or destroy self and the world at will.  Whether we act as village idiots or wise fools is a matter of personal choice.

This April first, no matter what crosses your path, no matter what or whom tries to bring you down, act as the quintessential fool and, even if your heart is breaking, I promise, you will—

KEEP YOUR HEARTLIGHT SHINING