A Senior Citizen’s Lament

Thought I’d let my doctor check me

‘Cause I didn’t feel quite right.

All those aches and pains annoyed me,

And I couldn’t sleep at night.

He could find no real disorder,

But he wouldn’t let it rest.

What with Medicare and Blue Cross

It wouldn’t hurt to do some tests.

To the hospital he sent me,

Though I didn’t feel that bad.

He arranged to them to give me every

Test that could be had.

I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,

My aging frame displayed.

Stripped upon an ice-cold table

While my gizzards were X-rayed.

I was checked for worms and parasites

For fungus and the crud,

While they pierced me with long needles

Taking samples of my blood.

Doctors came to check me over,

Probed and pushed and poked around

And to make sure I was living,

They wired me for sound.

They have finally concluded;

(their results have filled a page)

What I have will some day kill me,

My affliction is Old Age.

            Author Unknown

Potato Tidbits

• Add crunch to your potato salad by adding fresh cauliflower, broccoli or your favorite chopped nuts.

• Leftover baked potatoes can make good potato salad or soup.

• For a very smooth-textured potato soup, try pureeing potatoes (slightly cooled) with chicken broth in your blender.

• To add zest to your potato soup add a couple chopped jalapeno peppers.

• If you buy potatoes at the grocery, take a bag from the bottom of the pile. It will have had the least exposure to light, which can cause greening. Store potatoes where it’ cool and dark-but not in the refrigerator.

• To make a wonderful cream sauce for potatoes and veggies, use potato water mixed with powdered milk, flour and butter. You can add seasonings, too.

Banana Butterfinger Pudding

1 cup cold milk

1 package (3.4 ounces) instant banana pudding mix

3 Butterfinger candy bars (2.1 ounces each) crushed

1 carton (8 ounces) frozen whipped topping, thawed

3 medium firm bananas, sliced

            In a mixing bowl, combine milk and pudding mix until thickened and smooth. Set aside 1/3 cup crushed candy bars for topping. Fold in whipped topping, bananas and remaining candy bars into pudding. Spoon into serving dishes; refrigerate until ready to serve. Sprinkle with reserved candy bars. Makes 4-6 servings.

Easy Peanut Butter Cookies

1 cup peanut butter

1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 cup mini chocolate chips

            Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl, combine first four ingredients until blended. Stir in chocolate chips just until combined. Drop slightly rounded teaspoons onto an ungreased cookie sheet about 2 inches apart (do not flatten.) Bake for 9 minutes or until cookies are puffed and golden. Cookies will be very soft. Place baking sheets on a wire rack and cool for 5 minutes. Remove cookies from sheet and cool completely.

                        Four Bean Casserole

1 can (16 ounces) pork and beans, undrained

1 can (15 ounces) pinto beans, rinsed and drained

1 can (16 ounces) kidney beans, rinsed and drained

 1can (14-1/2 ounces) French-style green beans, drained

1 bunch green onions, sliced

1 medium green pepper, chopped

1 cup chili sauce

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

            Combine all ingredients in an ungreased 2 quart casserole. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until heated through and bubbly. Makes 8-10 servings.

            Plain rice picks up nice seasoning by adding soy sauce, Parmesan cheese and a sprinkling of sesame seeds. This is an excellent side dish.

Fudge Popcorn Bars

2 cups (12 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips

2 tablespoons shortening

3 tablespoons butter or oleo

4 cups miniature marshmallows

1 cup butterscotch chips

3 quarts popped popcorn

            In a microwave or double boiler, melt chocolate chips and shortening. Chill for 15-20 minutes or until thickened. Meanwhile, line a 9 inch spare baking pan with foil; grease the foil and set pan aside. In a heavy saucepan over low heat, melt butter. Stir in marshmallows and butterscotch chips until melted and smooth. Place the popcorn in a large bowl; add marshmallow mixture and toss until coated. Firmly press half of the popcorn mixture into prepared pan. Spread chocolate mixture evenly over popcorn. Firmly press remaining popcorn mixture over chocolate. Chill for 30 minutes. Lift out of pan, using foil edges. Remove foil; cut into bars. Makes 2 dozen bars.

            Buy ground beef in bulk when it’s on sale, then brown it with chopped onion and garlic…and freeze it in serving-size containers. Thaw portions as needed to get a jump start on your supper.

To prevent rice from boiling over, rub butter or oleo around the edge of the saucepan before cooking.

            For additional color and nutritional boost, substitute shredded carrots for some of the potatoes called for in au gratin recipes.

                        Tortilla Casserole

2 pounds hamburger

1 large onion

1 package taco seasoning

1 pint sour cream

2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese

2 cans cream of chicken soup

1 package flour tortillas

1 can water (can omit this)

1 small can green chilies, optional

1 cup black olives, sliced

            Brown hamburger and onions;; add taco seasoning. Mix in a bowl, soup, sour cream and water and then heat in microwave until warm. Layer in a 9X13 inch pan, half tortillas, half meat mixture and half soup mixture and continue layering until gone, ending with soup mixture, cheese and olives. Bake 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

            For a change of pace-Sprinkle a small amount of cinnamon in your favorite sloppy joe or barbecued beef recipe.

            When you want to spice up a dish calling for canned tomatoes, try substituting salsa or picante sauce for all or part of the tomatoes.

 One Dish Meal Casserole

1 pound ground beef

2 tablespoons cooking oil

1/2 cup onion, chopped

8 oz. can tomato sauce

2-1/2 cups hot water

2 cups egg noodles, uncooked

1/2 teaspoon chili powder

1-1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

1 cup sharp Cheddar cheese, grated

15 oz. can cream style corn

            Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brown ground beef in the oil. Stir together beef, onion, tomato sauce, hot water, noodles, chili powder, salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, cheese and corn. Spoon into a 9X13 inch baking pan. Bake for 40-50 minutes, until noodles are tender. Makes 12 servings.

            To add flavor and richness to your beef stew when you make it in the slow cooker stir in a can of tomato soup right at the start of cooking.

Mary Hoff worked at the Platteville Journal  before she got married.  After a few years, she started a column at the Tri-County Press and also covered Cole Acres Notes. When the Tri-County Press was sold to Bill Hale in Lancaster,  he asked to carry the column in the Grant County Independent.  Mary says she writes, "just to keep my mind from getting rusty." 

mjandmjh@pcii.net

"Be sure to send me your comments, recipes, or helpful tips."