Funny! Funny! Funny!

            A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in language was planning a weeks vacation. She and her husband was planning a weeks vacation and was making reservations at a campground. When she wrote to find out about their facilities she used BC (short for bathroom commode).

            When the campground owner got the letter, he couldn’t figure out what the woman was talking about. He finally came to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the location of the local Baptist Church. He then sat down and wrote the following reply.

Dear Madam,

I regret the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a BC is located 9 miles North of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. It is located in a beautiful pine grove and is open only on Sundays and Wednesdays. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that many people take their lunch along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late.

My daughter met her husband in the BC. Sometimes it is so crowded there are five to a seat. It may interest you to know that right now there is a supper planned to raise money  to buy more seats. They are going to hold it in the basement of the BC. It pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but is surely not due to lack of desire on my part.

As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in the cold weather. If you decided to come to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go and sit with you and introduce you to all the other folks. We will be sure get a seat up front where you can be seen by everyone. Remember we are a friendly community. Sincerely yours, The Campground Owner

                                                Source Unknown

Tips For Great Salads

• Select greens that are crisp and free of discoloration. Iceberg lettuce and cabbage should be firm and solid.
   

• Wash greens thoroughly in cool water. Pat them dry with a clean towel or paper towel to remove water. Store in a covered container or plastic bag, and refrigerate at least 1 hour before serving to crisp the greens. Place a piece of paper towel in the bottom of the container or bag to absorb excess moisture.
   

• For iceberg lettuce, cut out the core with a paring knife. Or grasp the head in your hand  and hit the core area against the countertop; lift out the core. Rinse the head under running water and drain core side down.
   

• Just before serving tear-don’t cut-the greens into bite-size pieces. Cutting greens with a knife will turn the edges brown with time.
   

• Allow greens to stand at room temperature no longer than 15 minutes before serving.
   

• Toss greens with the dressing and serve immediately or place greens in a salad bowl and pass the dressing at the table. Adding too much dressing will make a salad soggy.
   

• Pasta, rice and vegetable salads should chill for a few hours to allow flavors to blend.

Tips for Breakfast!

• Try a dash of maple flavoring to your pancake batter.
   

• If you’re tired of plain scrambled eggs, try this. To your beaten eggs, add diced fully cooked ham, pieces of American cheese, and a little maple syrup, then cook as usual.
   

• Try using orange juice for the liquid when making your homemade waffle batter. It adds a new flavoring.

Put a teaspoon of grape jelly or strawberry jam inside the bottom of your green peppers before stuffing them. This simple step cuts the bitterness of the peppers and wakes up your tired taste buds.

When you are making a treat for the family. Prepare your favorite cook and serve chocolate pudding then stir in extra chunky peanut butter after you remove it from the heat, while it is still warm. Or you can make it extra rich by stirring in 1/4 cup butter and 1 cup chocolate chips.

Making iced tea for a large crowd? Fill a 100-cup coffeemaker about half full of cold water and heat until the finish light comes on. Turn the coffeemaker off and add 35 tea bags. Steep for about 15 minutes, then remove the bags. Fill the coffeemaker to the top with ice cubes. Fill glasses and pitchers right from the spout of the coffeepot.

Slush

1/2 cup sugar

1 package (3 ounces) strawberry gelatin

2 cups boiling water

2 cups sliced fresh strawberries

1 cup unsweetened pineapple juice

1 can (12 ounces) frozen lemonade concentrate, thawed

1 can (12 ounces) frozen limeade concentrate, thawed

2 cups cold water

2 liters lemon-lime soda, chilled

            In a large bowl, dissolved sugar and gelatin in boiling water. Place the strawberries and pineapple juice in a blender or food processor; cover and process until smooth. Add to the gelatin mixture. Stir in concentrates and cold water. Cover and freeze for 8 hours or overnight.

            Remove from the freezer 45 minutes before serving. For each serving combine 1/2 cup slush mixture with 1/2 cup lemon-lime soda; stir well. Makes 20 servings.

Happy 4th of July!

Red, White and Blue Berry Pie

1-1/2 cups sugar

4-1/2 tablespoons cornstarch

1-1/2 cups water

4-1/2 tablespoons raspberry flavored gelatin

1 pint fresh or frozen unsweetened blueberries

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 pie crust (9 inches) baked

1 pint fresh or frozen unsweetened raspberries

4 ounces cream cheese, softened

1/3 cup confections’ sugar

1 carton (4 ounces) frozen whipped topping, thawed

            In a medium saucepan, combine sugar, cornstarch and water; cook and stir until thick and clear. Stir in gelatin until dissolved. Divide mixture in half. Stir blueberries and lemon juice into one half; spread in the bottom of the pie crust. Chill until set. Gently fold raspberries into remaining gelatin; set aside at room temperature. In a mixing bowl, beat cream cheese and confectioners’ sugar until smooth. Fold in whipped topping; spread over blueberry layer. Chill until set, about 2 hours. Carefully spread raspberry mixture over cream cheese layer. Chill for at least 4 hours. Makes 8 servings.

Pineapple Sundaes

4 fresh pineapple slices (1/2 inch thick)

2 tablespoon 100 percent apricot spreadable fruit jam

Sugar substitute equivalent to 2 teaspoons

Dash of cinnamon

2 cups low-fat frozen vanilla yogurt

            Place the pineapple slices on a baking sheet; brush with spreadable fruit. Broil 4 inches from the heat for 5-6 minutes or until bubbly. Combine the sugar substitute and cinnamon; sprinkle over pineapple. Top with frozen yogurt. Makes 4 servings.

Popcorn Salad

3/4 cup mayonnaise

1 cup diced celery

1-1/4 cups (5 ounces) shredded cedar cheese, divided

1 can (8 ounces) sliced water chestnuts, drained

3/4 cup crumbled cooked bacon, divided

1/4 cup shredded carrots

2 tablespoons minced chives

6 cups popped popcorn

            In a large bowl, combine mayonnaise, celery, 1 cup cheese, water chestnuts, 1/2 cup bacon, carrots and chives; mix well. Add popcorn; stir to coat. Spoon into a lettuce-lined bowl. Top with the remaining cheese and bacon. Serve immediately. Makes 10-12 servings.

Open Faced Beef Sandwiches

1/3 cup olive oil

3 tablespoons lite Soy Sauce

3/4 cup thinly sliced red onion

1/2 cup packed fresh parsley leaves

1 loaf Italian bread

3/4 pound thinly sliced deli roast beef

3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

            Thoroughly blend oil and soy sauce; remove 1/4 cup and set aside. Pour remaining mixture over onion and parsley in a small bowl, stir to coat all pieces well. Let stand 15 minutes; stirring occasionally.

            Meanwhile, cut bread into 12 slices, each 1/2 inch thick. Lightly brush both sides of bread with reserved soy mixture; place on large baking sheet.

            Broil 1-2 minutes on each side or until golden. Drain onion mixture; set aside. Cover each bread slice with roast beef and then onion mixture. Sprinkle cheese evenly over onion mixture; serve immediately. Makes 6 servings.

Cucumber Sandwich

1 tablespoon prepared ranch salad dressing

2 slices of bread, toasted

12-15 think cucumber slices

2 bacon strips, cooked

1 tomato slice

            Spread salad dressing on one side of each slice of toast. Layer cucumber, bacon and tomato on one slice; top with second slice. Makes 1 serving.

Potato-Stuffed Peppers

1 package (22 ounces) frozen mashed potatoes

2 cups milk

2 tablespoons butter

1 envelope ranch salad dressing mix

Pepper to taste

4 medium green or sweet red peppers

1 cup (4 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese

Paprika

            Prepare potatoes with milk and butter according to package directions. Stir in dressing mix and season with pepper; set aside.

            Cut peppers in half lengthwise; do not remove the tops. Remove stems and seeds. Place in an ungreased microwave safe 13 X 9 inch baking dish.

            Cover and microwave on high for 5 minutes. Spoon potatoes into pepper halves. Cover and microwave on high for 3-4 minutes or until peppers are tender. Sprinkle with cheese and paprika. Makes 8 servings.

Stuffing eggs using a pastry bag-Mash yolks with a fork. Add the remaining filling ingredients; mix well. Spoon filling into a pastry bag fitted with a #20 decorating tip. Or you can just snip a tip with a scissor. Pipe filling into egg white halves. This method making a more attractive deviled eggs.

Mary Hoff worked at the Platteville Journal  before she got married.  After a few years, she started a column at the Tri-County Press and also covered Cole Acres Notes. When the Tri-County Press was sold to Bill Hale in Lancaster,  he asked to carry the column in the Grant County Independent.  Mary says she writes, "just to keep my mind from getting rusty." 

mjandmjh@pcii.net

"Be sure to send me your comments, recipes, or helpful tips."